The

Standard

The dating handbook for women who are done accepting low effort.

“You were never asking for too much. You were asking the wrong man.”
BK

Stop guessing. Define your standards, read the pattern, have the conversation, and decide clearly.

Get The Standard, $39
115-page handbook + 32-page fillable private workbook. Instant download. Read it on your phone tonight.
The Standard, cover
Every chapter ends with a line you can screenshot
If it wasn't said, it isn't exclusive.Chapter 27, Exclusivity and intentions
Busy is real. Unavailable is a choice.Chapter 18, Busy men still make priorities
If your life got harder, that's the report on him.Chapter 43, Your life should become easier
Generosity makes you freer. Control calls itself generosity.Chapter 35, Generous vs controlling
A no should cost you nothing.Chapter 25, How he handles boundaries
A woman who can walk away has standards. Everyone else has hopes.Chapter 71, Keep your own life together

You already know the feeling.

The "wyd" at 11pm. The "let's figure it out" that never gets figured out. The man who's "so busy" but has time for the game, his boys, and three hours of scrolling. The birthday text at 4pm. The joke about how expensive you are, said with a smile, every week.

You've explained all of it to your friends, and you've explained most of it to yourself.

A standard is a line you will actually walk away over. Everything else is a preference. Most women have a long list of preferences and almost no standards, because a preference costs nothing to hold.

This book is the standard, written from the other side of the table, by a man who knows exactly how men behave when they value a woman, and exactly how they behave when they're passing time.

What's inside

94 chapters. Each one fits on a single page, because you're reading this on your phone, probably in bed, probably after a date that could have been better.

I
Your standard
Standards, preferences, boundaries, dealbreakers, and how to set yours before he gets a vote.
II
Reading men
Interest, effort, one-off vs pattern, planning, exclusivity, digital behaviour, exes, and the tells.
III
Money and providing
The three provider models, generosity vs control, cheap vs responsible, chaos vs wealth, numbers before rings.
IV
How you should feel
Peace, safety, independence, conflict rules, repair, intimacy, and the page where the audit stops applying.
V
Serious relationships
Friends, family, travel, living together, marriage, kids, career, and the conversations before yes.
VI
Your side of the standard
Honesty, loyalty, clean apologies, appreciation, and keeping your own life together. The standard runs both ways.
Included, free

The Standard Toolkit

The private workbook. 115 pages, fillable on your phone. Type straight into it.

  • Ten minutes, right now: the three actions that give you a result before the coffee's cold
  • The first ninety days: dates one to four, weeks three to six, months two to three
  • The pattern tracker, the provider model agreement, the first-trip checklist, the conflict and repair worksheet, and a thirty-day action plan
  • 25 "what to say" scripts, each with what a healthy answer sounds like and what avoidance sounds like
  • Fifty questions before yes
  • Money due diligence and the living-together checklist
  • The date debrief and a twelve-week tracker
  • The 100-point Boyfriend Audit, the stop signs, and the audit of you
The three money modelsTraditional, proportional, hybrid. Which one you want, which one he assumed, and how to find out before the lease has two names on it.
The 100-point Boyfriend AuditSix categories. The score shows you where to look. A page of stop signs no score can average away.
Fifty questions before yesMoney, kids, family, fighting, health, the prenup, and what a good life means. Every one to be answered out loud.
Twenty-five scriptsExact words for the conversations you keep rehearsing. Say them once. His response is the answer.

Real pages

Planning is informationCheap vs financially responsibleThree provider modelsFemininity is the whole gameThe Boyfriend Audit
"I've built an audience telling men what the standard is. Plan the date. Book her flight home. Your girl should have your card. Then women started sending those videos to each other, and to the men in their lives, with the same caption: this is what I've been trying to say."

So I wrote it down. Money comes up a lot, because money is how a life gets built and pretending otherwise is how women get stuck. Rich is one part of it. Generous is the part that matters, and the last part of this book is about finding a man who is both.

BK
@bkokoski
The Standard + The Standard Toolkit
$39
One payment. Two PDFs. Yours for good.
  • The 115-page handbook, 94 one-page chapters
  • The 32-page fillable Toolkit
  • The free Boyfriend Audit is included, obviously
  • Instant download. Apple Pay and Google Pay.
Get The Standard
Seven-day guarantee. If it didn't change how you read one man, reply to the delivery email and you'll be refunded. Keep the files.
Two years with the wrong man is the expensive option.

Questions

Is this a "find a rich man" book?

It's a book about finding a generous man, and Part Seven is about finding one who's also rich: how men with money decide to provide, how to ask for it, and the difference between being kept and being chosen. A cheap man with money is still cheap. The book says so, repeatedly.

Does it work on my phone?

It was designed for it. Every chapter is one page. The Toolkit is fillable: open it in Files, Preview, or Acrobat and type into the boxes.

I'm already in a relationship. Is it for me?

Parts four, five, and six are written for exactly that. Run the audit, read the repair chapter, then read your own half.

What if he wrote this and he's wrong?

Then you'll disagree with a man who's telling you to raise your standards for how you're treated. There are worse people to disagree with.

Refunds?

Seven days, one email, no forms.

Not ready? Score him first.

The 100-point Boyfriend Audit, free. Take it online in two minutes, or get the three fillable pages by email. Score the pattern, never his best day.

Send this to him.

Everything in this book has another side. What does the man who meets the standard actually do, day to day, at his income, with his calendar? That one is for him.

The Boyfriend Standard
How to become the man she brags about.
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The StandardHandbook + Toolkit, $39
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